Final Goodbye
by Felicionem
Summary: Letters from the tributes in the Quarter Quell to their loved ones and others, saying their thoughts to be delivered if they are to die.
1. Finnick to Annie

Dear Annie,

I'm going into the arena again. I'm so sorry I can't stay with you.

Haymitch promised me you would get this and I trust him. My sweetheart Annie, I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, to tell you just how much I love you. Because I do, I love you more than every drop of water in the ocean, more than every star, more than life. I love you.

And I wish I could have had so many more years to tell you everyday for the rest of my life. I want to spend my life with you, I want to wake up every day next to you, go to bed with you every night. I want to see you in a beautiful white dress, smiling as you promise to spend the rest of out lives together. I want us to be parents and grow old together. I want to make you happy.

I can't do that right now. It beaks my heart every time I tell you I have to go back to the Capitol but I can't stop from hurting you because if I refuse I'll lose the only person I really care about. I wish you hadn't fallen in love with me, that I can't remain faithful. I'm going to try to stop that now, bring down the people who make me hurt you. I never want to cause you pain.

In the Games, the Capitol will try to kill me, I know that. I don't have to be the Victor for a second time around; I have to get out to another place. The less I tell you, the more protected you will be. Please keep safe. I need you to stay safe for me.

There are so many more things I want to say but I can't in a letter. I didn't want to have to do this at all, leave you. I own Mags my life for saving yours, she told me she would before. Mags told me to tell you that she doesn't mind at all, that she was glad to have finally been able to save a tributes life.

Soon, I will have to go into the arena. My thoughts will stay with you, the entire time. You will keep me fighting till the very end. I'll never forget the moment I saw you, in your reaping dress, it was green and blue, and matched your eyes. I remember watching you on the train, fascinated by you, but never realising why. After the Capitol killed my family, I didn't want to love anyone ever again, I wanted to stay far away so no one would die because of me. In the Games, I begged for you to stay alive, I pulled every string from any sponsor I could to try to keep you safe. And you won. I was ecstatic.

I never thought I was in love with you, even then. I hadn't loved in such a long time, I didn't remember what it felt like. The moment I knew I loved you was weeks later, after you had been in hospital and they had let you out. I watch you come over to me and not recognise me for a second; I could see it in your eyes. At that moment, I knew I couldn't live without you. It felt like I'd been stabbed.

Then you really saw me and gave me the tiniest of smiles, and I've tried to make you smile every day since then. Please keep smiling Annie. Don't let me see you sad. I never told you any of that; I never told you a lot of things. I'm sorry for that too.

Promise me you'll keep living, that you won't give up. Make me proud Annie. More than I already am. You're so strong, stronger than even you know. Be strong for both of us Annie because I am scared. I'm scrared for you and I'm scared I'll never see you again.

Yours forever and beyond,

Finnick


	2. Peeta to Gale

Gale,

I know how you feel about Katniss; I can see you love her.

You may not like me but I need you to make me a promise. I'm going to die for her. If I can. She can have another life with you, the one I think she wants. There are moments when she looks at you, in ways she doesn't look at me but I wish she did. Trust. Hope. Even love.

I want Katniss to be happy; I need you to tell her that I want her to be happy without me. Live the life I have given her. I'll try to tell her before I die but I need you to promise me that if I can't, you will. I can't die knowing Katniss will live unhappily. Promise me you will protect her. Promise me you will love her. Promise me you will do everything you can just to see her smile. Promise me you'll never leave her.

Thank you Gale.

Peeta Mellark


	3. Mags to Finnick

Dear Delly,

I'm going to miss you! So much! I know you'll keep on smiling, that's what you always do when you are sad. I've seen you cry and I'll ask you what's wrong and you'll just say that you are fine. You would even try to make me feel better.

You are my best friend. I hope you know that. Last year, before my first time in the Hunger Games, you told me that I could win if I tried and I did. This time, although you didn't say it, I know you are thinking that. I can't. Not this time Delly.

I never meant to win last time, it was always Katniss I wanted to survive and nothing has changed. Over the last few months, you have been my rock, helping me through everything. You were the person who told me to be friends with Katniss, the only one I could be truthful too and you were always the same back.

I just want to tell you how grateful I am. Maybe a letter is better; you always told me that I had a way with words. It's so hard to write how much you mean to me and how much I care for you. In a way, I'm sorry I fell in love with Katniss, because the whole time I was looking at her, I could have been looking at you.

My uncomplicated friend who thinks the best of me. I do love you, very much but as a friend. I know you like me that way, I should have said something before to you. But you knew how much I loved Katniss.

I admire you too. The strongest person who could see the dimmest light in the pitch black, always saw the best of everyone and wasn't afraid to be herself. Still be yourself Delly, don't let anyone change who you are because you are so perfect. Don't let time make you stop smiling; don't cry for those you can't help.

You can't save the world, not yet anyway. But you did save me. Thank you for comforting me when I lost all hope, thank you for always being there to cry with me. Thank you for everything.

Please keep looking for the dimmest light, because without you Delly, I'm really struggling. I will die to save Katniss, you know that. But I'm worried I can't. I wish you could show me the brighter side because at the moment, I can't see anything.

Love, your brother Peeta


	4. Peeta to Delly

Dear Finnick,

It was a pleasure to mentor you; I'm so glad you were the one to live.

It's so hard living being a mentor; I know you feel it too. I was a Career too, I volunteered because I knew I could win if I tried. The girl's life I saved, her name was Rose. But I killed so many people, my list in the Games was a total of 7 and it keeps getting longer with every year I mentor.

You didn't volunteer though. You were one of the few who didn't. I watched you be brave as you walked to the stage, properly scared. I was so worried you were going to be another kill on my long, long list. I coached you the best I could and you were amazing. You really made me feel I could help people.

I can never thank you enough for everything you have done for me. When they called Annie's name to go into the names, I saw that face, the same face as you made when you were reaped. I knew how much you loved her and I watched you run to Annie as she screamed, that poor, innocent girl who went mad the first time.

So I volunteered for her, for you.

I can't speak properly to you now; however I can write what I want to say. I'd like to tell you that I was like you. I didn't dare say it before; I thought I'd be judged to harshly. They made me go to the Capitol, I was desirable enough. I'm sorry it happened to you Finnick, I really am. I should have warned you but I let my own pride stand between helping you.

I know your loved ones were murdered, mine were too. My husband and I, at the age of 19 decided to get married. Life was short after all and we didn't want to wait. They asked me to be a prostitute and I had said no. I thought that would be it.

After a short amount of time I fell pregnant with a son. He was healthy with blonde hair and green eyes. Beautiful.

On the 43rd Hunger Games, my son, Armand was reaped and killed. Later my husband died in an accident. My Mother and Father were already dead.

There was no one left I loved and than you came along. I love you as I did my son. I will always try to protect and care for you, or anyone else you love.

Good luck Finnick. I hope you live a happy life.

Yours truly, Mags


	5. Chaff to Haymitch

Dear Haymitch,

Well, it had been a blast hasn't it? I can't believe you got out of this one! Looks like I'm going into the Games again, that was something I never thought this old bloke would have to do.

Since I'm not going to get to see you again, I thought I'd write a letter. I hate goodbyes so I thought I'd keep it short.

Right, we had had fun didn't we? I'm so glad I found someone to get drunk of my face with after years of doing it alone. I'm not drunk right now I'm sad to say. I'd certainly like to be!

Lets get down to the sappy stuff that we both hate. You have never been there to help me, you have always been there to be sad with. You understand my pain and know it won't go away, no matter how much we drink. Better to be drunk and forget, then sober and remember.

You're a great mentor and you can't blame yourself for the kids that die. You saved two of them, something no mentor has been able to do. I worked that our years ago, I just can't believe it. Let's face it; the odds aren't in your favour. Neither are they in mine.

I'm glad you aren't going back into the arena with me. I couldn't stand not being able to think that you were on the outside looking out for me. Save one of your kids, the lovers. Let them have a chance of life rather than the rest of us who already regret ours. I know you'll think of something, you were always the brains and I was always the pretty face.

I know you don't have anyone left you love but if you get sad, remember this, you have people who love you, you just can't see them right now. I know you can't sleep in the dark, but the starts shine brighter in the darkest nights.

Okay, that's all the sappy crap out the way. I'll miss my drinking buddy in the arena. Have a drink on me! And hope that the arena filled with alcohol!

Cheers, Chaff


	6. Cinna to Katniss

Dear Katniss,

I'm sorry I'm going to leave me but I can't stand back and watch them kill either you or Peeta. I haven't even told Portia about your dress and what I plan to do to it. I know at the moment you want nothing to do with the rebellion but it's happening now and you can't stay away.

I am going to turn you into the face of the rebellion. For this, I'm sorry too because I know you don't want that. When you held out those berries, I think you did it to save Peeta, not start a war but not even you really know that.

I'm glad I wasn't just your stylist, not just the person to make you noticeable, I'm happy to say that we are friends. This time, I want what's best for you and everyone else. You can't live in this world full of suffering, it's not fair. I want to help create a world where you wouldn't have to fear Snow or the Capitol and can live in peace.

My act of rebellion will only add to the effect that you are part of the rebellion so no doubt they will kill me. Don't feel sorry for me, I wanted this to happen. My death is one of thousands that the Capitol is responsible for and I don't want yours to be one of them.

I can't watch you and Peeta die through the Capitol's hands. So when you win the war and can live peacefully, I'll be happy.

Remember girl on fire, I'm still betting on you. I will always bet on you.

Your Friend, Cinna


	7. Peeta to Dad

Dear Dad,

I'm sorry that I didn't have a chance to say goodbye properly to you or Mom. There were a lot of things that I would have liked to say to you.

Since you're my father, it feels fitting that you would give me advice and you always did. You taught me how to bake and what to say to people, you taught me to always stand for what I believe in.

I believe that Katniss deserves a chance at life far more than I do. She was right last year, when she told me I always had enough. I did have enough and now I don't want it, I want Katniss to have it. She spends her whole life looking after her sister and her Mother.

Her mother and sister need her, you don't. I'm sorry if this upsets you but last year, we already said goodbye. In my eyes, my death was just postponed for another year. Nothing has changed. I still want to protect Katniss, even if it means dying myself.

You know what it feels like to be in love, you would do the same for Mum in a heart beat. I learnt that something's are more important than living. I can't live without her Dad, whenever I think about it, I want to die. This is always the way it will be, Katniss must live.

When she comes back to twelve, if she does, than can you make sure she eats well and her family. She plans to die for me, I know she asked Haymitch to make sure I survived and she wouldn't but I can't let that happen. Katniss thinks she owns me but she doesn't. Make sure she doesn't give up.

I love you Dad.

Peeta


	8. Katniss to Mum

Dear Mother,

It's been such a long time since I really saw you as a Mother. One who could look after Prim and me. That all changed when you left after he died. Now I don't blame you, you were sick. It's still hard, when I think of us calling out your name, desperate for you not to leave us. But you didn't. You went away and didn't come back.

Eventually you did, but I still wonder sometimes. When I see a distant look in your eye when you look at Prim, like you barley knows who she is, or when I say you name and you don't reply. It always reminds me of those times, when you thought we would be better off without.

We never would be, you have to know that. No matter what you thought at the time. I never want you to leave me again, but now I've got you back I have to go. There's no chance I'll ever come back to you and Prim.

You have to be a Mother to her, I told you this when I went away last year but I mean it. Prim has grown up so much already but she's still your daughter. And I'm still you daughter too. Keep singing for me because my nightmares are getting worse, they are happening when I wake up.

Prim needs you, you can get by still. Gale won't just leave you, make sure he's okay for me please? He needs you too.

Look after yourself Mum. I'm going to die in these Games but I want too. I want someone else to have a chance at life because I can't. Peeta will live and be happy, while I can't ever be if I know I could have saved him.

I can save him Mum, I know I can.

I love you.

Your daughter, Katniss


	9. Katniss to Prim

Dear Prim,

I'm so proud of you. I really am. You are so amazing and caring and brave. Much braver than I am. I'm sorry I'll never get to see you grow up, I hope you look like Mum, you are so much like her. One day, when you're a healer, they'll bring in someone and you'll be able to save their lives all by your self.

You've grown way to fast and much too well. You're a better person because of what happened last year at the reaping. Please don't think, even for a second, that I ever regret taking your place. I don't. I would have never forgiven myself for watching you go and not saving you, but I did and I'd do it again a thousand times more and never regret it.

Remember when I used to sing to you when you had nightmares? To stop you from crying? Well, I'm not going to stop singing; you just won't be able to hear me anymore so don't cry. I'm sorry they took my away so quickly, I'm sorry I don't have a chance to say goodbye properly. At least this way, you have a piece of me and you can remember my words.

Don't let the world change you. You already carry so many burdens for all the things that aren't your fault, please don't blame yourself for things you can't change. You can't save the world yet, I will die happily knowing that it will make you safer. That it will give you more protection.

If you miss me, cuddly Buttercup. Be glad I didn't drown him. I couldn't do that to you, after you pleaded with me to let you keep it. That annoying fur ball brought you happiness and I can't want any more for you.

Look after Mother, give her cuddles too. You'll know that she loves you even when she can't show it, you are always her baby girl, and my baby sister. My beautiful younger sister who made me a fighter, who made me a much better person. That's why I am doing this, saving Peeta, because I can't be a good person and let him die. Hopefully, you understand that. If not, you will in a few years when you fall in love. A little sisterly advise, fall in love with someone who could never leave you. But has to be pull from you.

They're pulling and pulling and I'm falling. So far down. It's scary but I'll keep strong for you, the only person who could make me laugh when I don't think I can smile. My reason for living.

I promised to always keep you safe, and I'm going too.

I'll miss you.

Tuck in your tail you little duck, Dad would be so proud of you. He always was.

Love you big sister Katniss


	10. Peeta to Mum

Dear Mum,

Let's face it, you never had any faith in me. When I came home, you told me I owned Katniss my life for saving it, so I'm going to die for her. In the quell. You didn't even cry when you found out.

Maybe you were too dumb, or you just accepted that I was going to die. That hurt me more than your hitting ever did. I can't ask you now so it doesn't matter. Look after your sons; don't let them be alone without anyone to turn too. I can't face coming home again.

Do you remember when I was twelve and you showed me the meadow where a gorgeous butterfly landed right on my arm, with lots of different colours that shone in the light? It was so beautiful I went home and iced it onto a cake, it wasn't the best but I didn't want to sell it. I wanted you to have it. When I passed it to you, to you, your whole face lit up with happiness and you bend down and kissed me on the cheek. That was my best day ever with you.

It was so beautiful that you didn't eat it; you left it on your bedroom draws next to the picture of me. The next day, I went into your room, late at night and you were curled up in a ball on the bed, sobbing silently with big fat tear rolling down your cheek.

The day before my first reaping.

The next day, when I was at the reaping I saw a butterfly land on a nearby place just as the boy's name was called. For ages I thought the butterfly had kept me safe from the Games, but now I think it was you.

I really love you, very much. You're still my mother. And I'm still your son. That doesn't change. Just, you can't protect me anymore.

With my help, Katniss might really stand a chance, and twelve will have a Victor still, just like you said.

Goodbye, Peeta


	11. Peeta to Katniss

Dear Katniss,

This is by far the hardest letter I have to write to anyone, because you already know what I'm going to do and why. There's so much more to the why than even I understand. All I know is I don't want to ever live without you and I don't think I can anymore.

The day of the reaping is one of those days when something changed in me. I knew I loved you, I'd always loved you but when you volunteer I knew that I wanted to be with you and protect you. You couldn't die not knowing. My name being called out was lucky.

Announcing to the whole of the Capitol that I loved you wasn't my best idea ever, I have a scar to prove that! But it was what kept us safe and together. These last few months, even though I know you don't love me in the same way I love you, it didn't matter. I got to calm your nightmares and make you happier, that was the best thing ever.

I'm sorry I have to leave you, I really don't want too. I know that you made the same deal with Haymitch that I did, but you're the Mockingjay, the symbol of rebellion that has to live, even the drunk Haymitch can see that. You have to survive without me, carry on burning.

In the arena, I promise to keep you safe, I promise to try to get you ask to your family, I promise to die so you can live, if you promise me you'll be happy. I want this, don't spend your time thinking it's your fault. I know you will, remember, I've been paying attention.

I'll try to say a last goodbye in the arena; Haymitch can give you this letter after I die. I'm not scared of dying anymore, not if I know it will grant you your life. We can ally up with people, but I know I can only trust you, I've always trusted you.

I want to make sure that I tell you some things, like that making your book with you was some of my best memories of my whole life. It was perfect and normal, it made me thing that without the Games, this could have been us, just normal friends with no worries. I regret so much never talking to you before the Games, I should have said something, anything.

On the day with the bread, I should have gone over to you, spoken to you properly, given you the bread. That slap was worth it, a million slaps would have been worth it. The next day I should have said something too, I'm usually so good with my words, but when it comes to you, I'm speechless.

Life would be so much easier without the Games, since I was five, I've always wanted to try to hunt with you, you made it look so easy and fun. If a miracle happens and we both get out, then I'd love to come with you some time. I'd like to be friends.

And on the train, I should have said to you that I hate sick so much, I can't stand the stuff, but I wanted to seem brave in front of you, and not to wimp who can't even clean up a sick person, since you're a healer's daughter.

And in the Games, I wasn't waiting to die; I was waiting for you to come. It kept me awake with a will to live; otherwise I would have killed myself to get it over and done with. I was so happy the day you showed up and cared for me.

I heard you screaming at me when they took me in, I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not. After you told me it was all of Games, I remembered that moment and relised that you didn't know that, you didn't want that to be true. You're scared of people you love leaving you. Your Dad, your Mum, all of them. I'm not leaving you Katniss, I would never leave you, I'm being dragged away fighting like hell. I won't ever stop fighting for you.

And when we were about to be set on fire, and you held me hand? Sometimes, I can still feel your soft, small hand against mine. You really were, and always will be keeping me up so I don't fall.

Nothings going to ever stop me loving you, not ever the arena. I'll be there for you. Please be happy, please don't ever give up. I love you too much to let you suffer because of me. I love you more than I ever have. I've always love you, I'll always be with you and I'll always protect you and stay with you. I love you and I wish I had a million more lifetimes to tell you. I love you.

Yours completely, my heart, my soul, my life.

Peeta.


	12. Katniss to Peeta

Dear Peeta,

I'm broken.

Shattered. Smashed. Apart. I've been torn so many times the pieces are too small to fix. I can't make sense of anything. My future is the Capitol's. as is any hope I used to have. Everything is so confusing. It scares me.

It scares me how little control I have over my own life, on the people I love lives. Watching them suffer, it hurts me so much knowing I can't change it, that I will never be able to help. That feeling claws at my chest, ripping my heart into shreds and I just want to scream.

That's why I'm doing this. Trying to save you. I can't let you die for me Peeta, you deserve to live! Snow hates me; he'll never stop or leave me alone. A predator always stalks the easy, weak prey, and I'm the weakest against his attacks because I want to protect the people I love from him. There's nothing you or I can do.

Don't hate Haymitch or me for helping you get out alive, please forgive me for trying to save you, please forgive me for not letting you save me, I wasn't yours to save, you are mine. I know you want too but you shouldn't, I'm not worth your life.

I messed everything up, it's my fault we're in this stupid mess! I should have killed myself, rather than let you take the berries. I should have found another way, any other way to get us both out! I should have played the part better, the star-crossed

lover, convinced Snow.

I'm going to do this, whatever it takes to save you now. Be the Victor for me.

I'm bad with words, you know that. But even a million word of the best words can't describe how I feel about you. You mend me, give me hope and happiness. I never want to be apart from you.

My world without you is silent and still, not even the birds will sing my silent song of pain without you. I feel empty without you in my arms, words become unless without you to talk too. Life becomes a waking nightmare that you aren't there to comfort.

I need to save you because I love you. I love you! And I really don't want to. I don't want you to ever get hurt because of me, I couldn't bare to know it's my fault you are hurt. I've denied it so long I convinced myself as well! But it's true. You consume my thoughts, I want to see you everyday, I want to watch you be happy, feel your lips against mine. I want us to be together.

Not as the star-crossed lovers, with the fancy Capitol wedding with people we don't know, only kissing in front of our audience, but Peeta and Katniss, from District twelve, who have a toasting and live together in peace. Just us. No audience, no tricks, nothing unreal. As long as we are together it wouldn't matter where.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I couldn't tell you how I felt. Everyone I love gets hurt. But it's taken me a long time to see it wasn't me hurting them, it's the Capitol! It's always the Capitol that screws everyone up!

I can't tell you before the Games, that would be selfish of me, you'd only want me to live more and I can't do that, I need you to let me go. I shouldn't tell you now but I can't stand the thought of you always wondering if I loved you or not. So I'm telling you now!

I love you Peeta Mellark! I love you more everyday! It doesn't matter that we aren't together anymore, it doesn't! As long as you're happy! I want your life to be brilliant and wonderful and amazing! I want you to be brave and face the Capitol! I want you to love your life, not hate it to the life we might have had! Live it for both of us!

I love you Peeta! I'm sorry you'll never hear those words come from my lips, I'm sorry I can't look you in your beautiful blue eyes and tell you, I'm sorry I can't kiss you after I say it.

There are so many things I would have liked to do with you Peeta, we were never meant to be ripped apart. It's so hard for me to think that you'll never wake up and be able to see me again, or tell me all about your day. That you'll only have memories of me, and not hopes of what we can do together on day.

So this is really it. The end of us, the end of me. I'll die in the Games. I am scared, but only that my death won't save you. I need you to be safe, I need to know that your not going to do anything stupid like try to join me. Don't Peeta. Please. Take care of my family for me, tell Prim how much I love her because I can't anymore. Keep her safe because she'll be sad. I know you'll be sad too, but please smile.

Smile to show they can't break you Peeta, smile to show that they can't break us.

Be strong my Peeta, because I'll be with you, I promise. Even death can't stop love. Love carries on. Together.

Always, Katniss

I stare down at the crumpled sheet of paper faded slightly with time. Written two years ago. Haymitch delivered it to me the day I got back to twelve, Katniss' letter to me the days before the Quarter Quell. I'd forgotten I'd even had it, tucked away out of sight, until now.

She loved me.

Katniss Everdeen loved me.

I look at her, across the table, beautiful as always writing a letter to her Mother.

My Katniss, who I still love with all my heart and soul, who I never want to live without. Her misty grey eyes find mine and she smiles at me, a wonderful light-in-her-eyes-smile, saved only for me.

Standing up so heavily, I hit the table. I move towards her.

"Peeta?" she asks worriedly, thinking I'm having a 'turn'. She gets to her feet, unsure whether or not she should leave.

I walk right up to her, really close and run both my hands up her arms, reaching behind her slender neck. The neck I wrapped my arms around and tried to kill her, but I'll never do that again. I love Katniss; I'd never want to hurt her. My hands move through her dark hair and I pull her towards me for a long, deep kiss that fills me with pleasure. Katniss' hands move around me as she gives a tiny groan.

I could stay like this forever but I pull away and reach down to grab the letter and show her. Her eyes widen in shock at seeing it.

"You love me." I whisper to her, "Real or not real?"

She looks right at me, a tear about to roll down her cheek, I brush it away as she whispers,

"Real."


End file.
